The Daycare Job

     The friends needed to get some money to help pay for all the fun things they did, so they started looking for jobs. They went to a supermarket, but there was too much food, and the bee and land shark kept nibbling on it.

     Then they tried a clothing store, but they were all too dirty from playing and wrecked all the clothes. Clothing was only worn by the rich animals who could afford such fine things. So they continued on ever nakedly to a daycare to see if they could find work.

     Fortunately, they stumbled upon a new daycare in the area that had just opened and was struggling to get everything done. They walked in the giant building and stood at the front desk waiting to be helped. It was like walking into a circus of tiny babies. There was one big beluga whale chasing after at least fifty of them. She looked like she was losing her mind.

     "I'll be right there," she huffed, "Sorry guys."

     "WORK. Babies. Blep," said the Bee. He never stopped trying to communicate.

     The littler sloth brother couldn't help himself and ran into the swarm of babies. He just loved them too much. Luckily, they loved him too. The little sloth brother tickled them and played with them until they stuck to him like glue. In the meantime, the beluga was able to calm down and talk to the others.

     "Your friend sure loves kids," she said.

     "Honey, sweety, that's just what he does," said the older sloth brother.

     "So do you guys have any kids that need watching? How can I help you?" said the beluga.

     "BABIES," the bee honked again.

     "Shhhh Shhhhh... we got this," the dear whispered. One day he would make a sentence, but until then it was best for the others to talk for him.

     "We want to work here," the land shark started, "You could pay us to help take care of the babies and other things around here. And more people will want to come here. There will be enough children to make you say WOW!"

     "Well that certainly does sound nice," the beluga said hesitantly, "I'll give you all temporary jobs, but I might not be able to keep you guys long because that costs me money."

     "WOOOO," they all cheered.

     They started working that day because she really needed the help. She admitted that a few parents walked in on the craziness and decided not to let their kids stay there. The little sloth played with the babies until they were worn out. The dear sung them lullabies and soothed them to sleep. The cat and land shark put the babies on their backs and zoomed around the floor. When the babies missed their moms and started crying the giraffe stepped in and cuddled the happiness back into them. Finally, the last thing they took care of was the front desk. The beluga did most of the paper work that needed to be handled, and the older sloth brother welcomed the new mothers in with a wink and a hug. (Ladies were ladies, regardless of their marital status.)

     One time the little sloth brother had to take care of a bit of a mess. The babies spent most of their time with him, so he did most of the bathroom runs. This became an issue when they all had to go to the bathroom at the same time. They followed him into the bathroom, but before he could seat each one down , they all ran into the same stall. They all sat down on that one toilet and went like it was nobody's business. At first the problem was cleaning all of them. He had to line them up and change them one by one which took quite a while. However, when he tried to flush the toilet, he ran into the real problem. It wouldn't flush at all. The toilet strained to let it all pass, but was simply unable to do it. He lead the kids back to the rest of the friends so they could watch them while he dealt with the Big Stink. (Here's where it gets a little PG.) He ran back into the bathroom and tried the only thing he thought would work. He suited up in the spare Hazmat suit he found under the sink (every child care has one) and put six or seven garbage bags on each hand. Then... he went in. He bagged half up like a little present and placed it in another toilet. That one flushed right down. Then he flushed the first half and that one went down too. Everything was good again. He washed down to make sure he was baby ready again and continued to play with the kids. He tried to never tell anyone of the Big Stink, but it was just too good not to tell.

     They wound up working for the beluga for six weeks. Once she had everything under control she was able to let them go and make money for herself. Sometimes the littler sloth brother visited the babies just for fun because he couldn't let them go.

The Catacombs Part One

     One night while the land shark, the bee, the dear, and the sloth brothers were all busy, the cat went to the giraffe's house to play. The cat was playing with her ball of yarn, and the giraffe was playing with his giraffe toys, but they soon got bored.

     The cat rolled on her back and said, "Remember when I said I wanted to explore the dark parts of the forest some time?"

     "Yeah, I remember," said the giraffe.

     "Can we go explore the tunnels under the forest university tonight?"

     "But it's yucky out."

     "Well what if I made us booties to wear?"

     "Okay... But only for a little while. I still don't like scary things."

     So the cat and the giraffe went to the forest university in their fresh new booties.

     It was dark and cold out when they got there, but there were still a few people walking around. The walked up to a grate in the ground and looked at it for a second.

     The cat said, "This is the grate that my monkey friend told me about. I was friends with a monkey back in high school, and his brother went to college here. His brother said that we have to lift this door in the grate and climb the ladder down to the floor. Then we have to go down a lumpy slide and we'll be in."

The grate. The grate's door is on the bottom left of the grate.

     "Okay," said the giraffe, "I don't see anyone, so on three, I'll lift the grate and we'll scoot down the ladder. One... Two... Three..."

   He lifted the grate's door and they hurried down into the tiny dark room below it. The giraffe had to bend his neck to fit. When they were down there they saw the lumpy tube that they had to slide down. It was rusty and dirty, but this made it even more exciting. It was just a metal tube stuck in the cement wall. (They later found out there were many of these tubes to let air into the spooky tunnels.)

The lumpy metal slide.

     They looked down into the tunnel and saw two pipes at the bottom. It was even darker than the room that they were already in. Luckily they had a flashlight so they could see where they were going. They slid down the tunnel slide and landed on the pipes. They were now surrounded by the spookiest place they have even seen.

Looking down the lumpy tunnel slide at the two pipes they had to land on.

     At this point only a few bits of light made it down the slide and hit their feet. The rest was pitch black. However, even thought the light disappeared, there was plenty of noise. They took out the flashlight and looked around.

     "Catacommbss," whispered the giraffe.

     "My monkey friend's brother told me to go right at this point. Then we have to follow this map," the cat said as she pulled a floppy piece of paper out of her pocket. "So lets go this way."

     They turned and slowly started walking through the underground tunnel system of the university. It held steam pipes, electric lines, and plenty of asbestos. Occasionally the steam pipes let out a "kssssssss" or a "pfffff" which made it seem like there were other animals down there. Nothing was alive, but some things moved around a bit and scared the cat and giraffe.

The pipes and tubes of the tunnels.

     They came to a part in the tunnels where there was a light switch. They hit it and it started a count down from 60:00.

     "These switches turn the lights on for one hour. After an hour, they shut off by themselves," said the cat, "They must never know we were down here."

     The giraffe whispered, "They're not gonna hurt us if they find us... will they?"

     "I don't know, but I don't want to find out."

     They continued exploring the tunnels, and found something very strange. The pipes squeaked and shook, but even creepier than the pipes were the chairs. There were old chairs scattered about the whole tunnel system. The chairs were placed so they were all facing the cat and the giraffe when they walked by. It was as if they were watching them and growling at them.

     The cat and the giraffe walked quicker and quicker. They did as much exploring on their own as they wanted that night. It became less of an adventure and more of a fight to escape. They followed the map and saw the only way out was just a few curves away.

     "Hold on," the giraffe said bending down towards his foot, "I got something stuck in my hoof."

     He started picking at a rock stuck in his foot. The two of them were already scared silly, and this was only making it worse. He picked at it more and it started to come loose. Just as the rock plopped out of his hoof the pipe right by his head went "PFFFFFFFF" and he jumped and charged towards the exit. The cat followed close behind in a fury. They tore through the rest of the catacombs and launched out of the exit not caring whether they would be seen or not.

     They got out safe, but they were both shaking like maracas. They went straight back to the giraffes house and watched happy movies all night long to calm down.

The Story Time

     After visiting the forest university, they all went back to the bees house to relax. Once everyone was settled in they began telling stories.

     The dear told her story first. "When my grandma was a kid, her parents were usually busy working. Her and the other little deer ran around wherever they wanted. Everyday they saw the same Buddhist monkey riding his bicycle down a path nearby. One day they went out and tied a rope to two trees across the path. They hid in a bush and watched him ride down towards them, and when he got to the rope he flew up in the air and landed flat on the ground!"

     "HAHAHA heehee haHAha," the whole group cried.

     "OH OH, you wanna hear a story?" asked the land shark.

     "Sure," they all responded.

     "Ptttt," the land shark flapped his tongue at them.

     "That's not a story, you goober," said the giraffe, "One time, when I was a toddler, my mom brought me toy shopping. (I watched the kids show, Poppy Parkway, a lot and my favorite character was Snuffafluffapuss.) So we were at the toy store, and we found a stuffed Snuffy. I didn't talk well as a tiny baby, so when we rang it up I got really excited and yelled 'SEXY SEXY SEXY' at the cashier instead of 'SNUFFY SNUFFY SNUFFY'. It was silly."

     The group had another good laugh.

     "Ptttttt," the land shark kept saying that was his story.

     "Well when I was little," the younger sloth brother started, "I was playing poker with a few of my friends when my brother raised the bid SUPER high. At the same time, I accidentally let out a bellowing poot. Everyone looked at me, so I just said that the bid scared the poot out of me..."

     The all laughed again at his goofy tale. Then land shark said jokingly, "How come his poots are stories, but my poots aren't stories. Teeheehee."

     Poops and farts will always be funny.*


*Conways in mind.