The Bee Expresses Himself

     It was fall now.  The bee stayed inside for a while thinking about the dear and what he might try to do about these mysterious things his father called "feelings." He was afraid that if he hung out with his friends, he would have to face the dear. That would certainly cause an emotional upheaval and possibly a physical "heaval" of his foods too. But he knew that he couldn't stay inside forever, and he was already starting to get lonely.

     Knock-knock-knock.

     The bee was deep in a cup of cider when he heard people at his door. He put down his appley delight and rolled up to greet them. He opened the door and saw the cat, the land shark, and of course... the dear.

     "Come outside, ya dingus," the land shark said in his goofy tone. The bee wanted to, but couldn't.

     "buh," the bee was afraid that if he left his mouth open for one extra second he may just blow up.

     "C'mon. Let's go..." the cat tried pulling him out the door but he wouldn't budge.

     "Pleeeeeease," said the dear.

     AHHHHH. The bee thought. She was talking right to him! What was he to do!? He couldn't speak. He could barely breathe. But he felt like he was gonna do something else. And then it happened.

     BRAARFF! The bee made vommy all over the doorway. Immediately, the motherly instincts of the dear kicked in harder than twin after burners of an F15. She scooped up the bee, ran into the house, and wrapped him in a big ol' blanky.

     "What can I get for you to make you feel better?" the dear asked. They were worried that he had come down with quite the bug.

     "SNU..." the bee was still struggling with keeping himself together. "SNNNN," almost there. "Snuggle?"

     "Of course my darling. But how can I help you get over that cold of yours," the dear said still deep in mother mode.

     "Bloopis. I doop. Jussa snuggums. YOU!" the bee was blushing because he never soul dumped on anyone before. It was an eye opening experience. Of course for his mental eye. The other ones weren't quite as useful.

     "Oh..." the dear was happily surprised that the bee shared the same feelings with her.

     The dear pranced over to comfort the bee. She let him know that she had the same feels and everyone was happy. The rest of the friends left so that it didn't get too uncomfortable. (Way too cute to handle.)

A few months passed

     Some of the friends went to different schools, but they still played frisbee with each other whenever they got the chance. The goodest of friends.

The Bee and His Feelings

(Pictures soon)

     The bee started developing feelings for the dear. However, the bee didn't quite know what feelings were, so he thought he was getting very sick. Every time he saw her prancing around her garden or giggling with their friends he got a weird feeling in his stomach. He thought it would go away with a little tea and honey, and it usually did when he got home and made some. But he saw her very often, so he began to worry.

     He went to the doctor one day to see if anything was wrong. She said that he was perfectly fine, but this didn't make him feel any better. Since the doctor couldn't figure out what was happening, he went to his pappy's house. His dad was sitting on the front porch singing into the wind and strumming his guitar when he arrived.

     "boops," the bee said to his father.

     "What's making you feel so blue, son?" his father, the rhino, asked.

     "flibb goppy tummy. ERR."

     "Seems like all the stars on the grand ol' flag couldn't cheer you up. And the doctor said you're fine... Well does your tummy hurt right now?"

     "nuh"

     "So when does it hurt?"

     "ploots DEAR"

     "Maybe you have feelings for this little dear. I could brew you up one of our Native American land potions from the bayckyard, but it won't help if you have a case of strong feelings."

     "Smurg? Dorble dinty?"

     "No you're not allergic to her. Just talk to her."

     So the bee went back home very confused. He didn't understand why his tumtum would hurt him if he liked the dear. He thought that would make him feel better if anything. His dad was probably right though. He always had an answer to everything.

     That night the bee couldn't fall asleep because he was so nervous about talking to the dear. He didn't know what to say to her, and he was also afraid that he would get even sicker when he talked to her one on one. It was a confusing time for the poor bee. 

The Daycare Job

     The friends needed to get some money to help pay for all the fun things they did, so they started looking for jobs. They went to a supermarket, but there was too much food, and the bee and land shark kept nibbling on it.

     Then they tried a clothing store, but they were all too dirty from playing and wrecked all the clothes. Clothing was only worn by the rich animals who could afford such fine things. So they continued on ever nakedly to a daycare to see if they could find work.

     Fortunately, they stumbled upon a new daycare in the area that had just opened and was struggling to get everything done. They walked in the giant building and stood at the front desk waiting to be helped. It was like walking into a circus of tiny babies. There was one big beluga whale chasing after at least fifty of them. She looked like she was losing her mind.

     "I'll be right there," she huffed, "Sorry guys."

     "WORK. Babies. Blep," said the Bee. He never stopped trying to communicate.

     The littler sloth brother couldn't help himself and ran into the swarm of babies. He just loved them too much. Luckily, they loved him too. The little sloth brother tickled them and played with them until they stuck to him like glue. In the meantime, the beluga was able to calm down and talk to the others.

     "Your friend sure loves kids," she said.

     "Honey, sweety, that's just what he does," said the older sloth brother.

     "So do you guys have any kids that need watching? How can I help you?" said the beluga.

     "BABIES," the bee honked again.

     "Shhhh Shhhhh... we got this," the dear whispered. One day he would make a sentence, but until then it was best for the others to talk for him.

     "We want to work here," the land shark started, "You could pay us to help take care of the babies and other things around here. And more people will want to come here. There will be enough children to make you say WOW!"

     "Well that certainly does sound nice," the beluga said hesitantly, "I'll give you all temporary jobs, but I might not be able to keep you guys long because that costs me money."

     "WOOOO," they all cheered.

     They started working that day because she really needed the help. She admitted that a few parents walked in on the craziness and decided not to let their kids stay there. The little sloth played with the babies until they were worn out. The dear sung them lullabies and soothed them to sleep. The cat and land shark put the babies on their backs and zoomed around the floor. When the babies missed their moms and started crying the giraffe stepped in and cuddled the happiness back into them. Finally, the last thing they took care of was the front desk. The beluga did most of the paper work that needed to be handled, and the older sloth brother welcomed the new mothers in with a wink and a hug. (Ladies were ladies, regardless of their marital status.)

     One time the little sloth brother had to take care of a bit of a mess. The babies spent most of their time with him, so he did most of the bathroom runs. This became an issue when they all had to go to the bathroom at the same time. They followed him into the bathroom, but before he could seat each one down , they all ran into the same stall. They all sat down on that one toilet and went like it was nobody's business. At first the problem was cleaning all of them. He had to line them up and change them one by one which took quite a while. However, when he tried to flush the toilet, he ran into the real problem. It wouldn't flush at all. The toilet strained to let it all pass, but was simply unable to do it. He lead the kids back to the rest of the friends so they could watch them while he dealt with the Big Stink. (Here's where it gets a little PG.) He ran back into the bathroom and tried the only thing he thought would work. He suited up in the spare Hazmat suit he found under the sink (every child care has one) and put six or seven garbage bags on each hand. Then... he went in. He bagged half up like a little present and placed it in another toilet. That one flushed right down. Then he flushed the first half and that one went down too. Everything was good again. He washed down to make sure he was baby ready again and continued to play with the kids. He tried to never tell anyone of the Big Stink, but it was just too good not to tell.

     They wound up working for the beluga for six weeks. Once she had everything under control she was able to let them go and make money for herself. Sometimes the littler sloth brother visited the babies just for fun because he couldn't let them go.

The Catacombs Part One

     One night while the land shark, the bee, the dear, and the sloth brothers were all busy, the cat went to the giraffe's house to play. The cat was playing with her ball of yarn, and the giraffe was playing with his giraffe toys, but they soon got bored.

     The cat rolled on her back and said, "Remember when I said I wanted to explore the dark parts of the forest some time?"

     "Yeah, I remember," said the giraffe.

     "Can we go explore the tunnels under the forest university tonight?"

     "But it's yucky out."

     "Well what if I made us booties to wear?"

     "Okay... But only for a little while. I still don't like scary things."

     So the cat and the giraffe went to the forest university in their fresh new booties.

     It was dark and cold out when they got there, but there were still a few people walking around. The walked up to a grate in the ground and looked at it for a second.

     The cat said, "This is the grate that my monkey friend told me about. I was friends with a monkey back in high school, and his brother went to college here. His brother said that we have to lift this door in the grate and climb the ladder down to the floor. Then we have to go down a lumpy slide and we'll be in."

The grate. The grate's door is on the bottom left of the grate.

     "Okay," said the giraffe, "I don't see anyone, so on three, I'll lift the grate and we'll scoot down the ladder. One... Two... Three..."

   He lifted the grate's door and they hurried down into the tiny dark room below it. The giraffe had to bend his neck to fit. When they were down there they saw the lumpy tube that they had to slide down. It was rusty and dirty, but this made it even more exciting. It was just a metal tube stuck in the cement wall. (They later found out there were many of these tubes to let air into the spooky tunnels.)

The lumpy metal slide.

     They looked down into the tunnel and saw two pipes at the bottom. It was even darker than the room that they were already in. Luckily they had a flashlight so they could see where they were going. They slid down the tunnel slide and landed on the pipes. They were now surrounded by the spookiest place they have even seen.

Looking down the lumpy tunnel slide at the two pipes they had to land on.

     At this point only a few bits of light made it down the slide and hit their feet. The rest was pitch black. However, even thought the light disappeared, there was plenty of noise. They took out the flashlight and looked around.

     "Catacommbss," whispered the giraffe.

     "My monkey friend's brother told me to go right at this point. Then we have to follow this map," the cat said as she pulled a floppy piece of paper out of her pocket. "So lets go this way."

     They turned and slowly started walking through the underground tunnel system of the university. It held steam pipes, electric lines, and plenty of asbestos. Occasionally the steam pipes let out a "kssssssss" or a "pfffff" which made it seem like there were other animals down there. Nothing was alive, but some things moved around a bit and scared the cat and giraffe.

The pipes and tubes of the tunnels.

     They came to a part in the tunnels where there was a light switch. They hit it and it started a count down from 60:00.

     "These switches turn the lights on for one hour. After an hour, they shut off by themselves," said the cat, "They must never know we were down here."

     The giraffe whispered, "They're not gonna hurt us if they find us... will they?"

     "I don't know, but I don't want to find out."

     They continued exploring the tunnels, and found something very strange. The pipes squeaked and shook, but even creepier than the pipes were the chairs. There were old chairs scattered about the whole tunnel system. The chairs were placed so they were all facing the cat and the giraffe when they walked by. It was as if they were watching them and growling at them.

     The cat and the giraffe walked quicker and quicker. They did as much exploring on their own as they wanted that night. It became less of an adventure and more of a fight to escape. They followed the map and saw the only way out was just a few curves away.

     "Hold on," the giraffe said bending down towards his foot, "I got something stuck in my hoof."

     He started picking at a rock stuck in his foot. The two of them were already scared silly, and this was only making it worse. He picked at it more and it started to come loose. Just as the rock plopped out of his hoof the pipe right by his head went "PFFFFFFFF" and he jumped and charged towards the exit. The cat followed close behind in a fury. They tore through the rest of the catacombs and launched out of the exit not caring whether they would be seen or not.

     They got out safe, but they were both shaking like maracas. They went straight back to the giraffes house and watched happy movies all night long to calm down.

The Story Time

     After visiting the forest university, they all went back to the bees house to relax. Once everyone was settled in they began telling stories.

     The dear told her story first. "When my grandma was a kid, her parents were usually busy working. Her and the other little deer ran around wherever they wanted. Everyday they saw the same Buddhist monkey riding his bicycle down a path nearby. One day they went out and tied a rope to two trees across the path. They hid in a bush and watched him ride down towards them, and when he got to the rope he flew up in the air and landed flat on the ground!"

     "HAHAHA heehee haHAha," the whole group cried.

     "OH OH, you wanna hear a story?" asked the land shark.

     "Sure," they all responded.

     "Ptttt," the land shark flapped his tongue at them.

     "That's not a story, you goober," said the giraffe, "One time, when I was a toddler, my mom brought me toy shopping. (I watched the kids show, Poppy Parkway, a lot and my favorite character was Snuffafluffapuss.) So we were at the toy store, and we found a stuffed Snuffy. I didn't talk well as a tiny baby, so when we rang it up I got really excited and yelled 'SEXY SEXY SEXY' at the cashier instead of 'SNUFFY SNUFFY SNUFFY'. It was silly."

     The group had another good laugh.

     "Ptttttt," the land shark kept saying that was his story.

     "Well when I was little," the younger sloth brother started, "I was playing poker with a few of my friends when my brother raised the bid SUPER high. At the same time, I accidentally let out a bellowing poot. Everyone looked at me, so I just said that the bid scared the poot out of me..."

     The all laughed again at his goofy tale. Then land shark said jokingly, "How come his poots are stories, but my poots aren't stories. Teeheehee."

     Poops and farts will always be funny.*


*Conways in mind.

The College Plans

     After that summer the cat, the bee, and the older sloth brother were all going to college, so they started thinking about where they were going to go. The dear and the land shark planned a day for them to visit the forest university to see if they liked it.

     When that day came, the giraffe and the younger sloth brother stayed back at the giraffe's house and enjoyed a day of TV and coffee. They began to notice that the giraffe was just as addicted to coffee as the littler sloth was to TV.

     Once they arrived at the university, they were greeted by the crazy friends of the deer and the land shark. All of them lived in their own homes instead of at school. Sometimes it seemed like the animals who lived at school were the only normal ones, but the craziness kept things interesting.

     The cat and the bee were very excited and joined the forest university right away. However, the older sloth brother wanted to go somewhere that was a little more like his high school. He was a city kid at heart. The cat and the bee thought that maybe if they were super nice he would go to school with them, but along with pop punk and spiffiness, the city was something he wouldn't give up. (He later would give up the city and go to another college that STILL wasn't the forest university, but that's neither here nor there.) The older sloth was still a champ no matter where he colleged.

The Fruitenanny

     One time, the dear invited the cat, the giraffe, the land shark, the bee, and the sloth brothers over to her house to eat the ripe fruit. They called it a Fruitenanny and it was delicious. It also sounded really silly.

The Bee's Birthday Party

     Of course the first thing that they did when they all got to the Bee's house was play frisbee. They got the frisbee and headed off to the fields by the bee's house. There was a lot of throwing and catching, but mostly just flipping, flopping, screaming, and giggling. It was pretty hot out, but they kept playing until they couldn't move another inch.

     When they were completely worn out they headed back to the bee's for a good romp in the pool. On the way back they heard a creepy voice calling out:

"Don't be stupid,

This I cry.

For if you're stupid,

You will die."

     They were too tired to bother with it though, so they kept rolling along. The noise got louder and creepier:

"I hear your whispers from above,

So what are you friends talking of?

I need to know, oh tell me now,

I need to interject some how."

     He or she was getting annoying now. Even the way it talked was weird. It wasn't cute at all. They looked up and saw a parrot staring down at them. It was an ugly parrot.

     The giraffe said, "What do you want, Parrot? It's hot and we're tired. Can't you see it's pool time? Please just go away."

     "BUPPY," honked the bee.

"If you befriend this parrot here,

Then you will have nothing to fear.

But if you speak so ill of me,

Then I will throw you from a tree.

You really must let me tell you,

The things I know and things I do,

For I am older and quite wise.

By five years I out age you guys.

You shouldn't be so awfully wild.

A foolish father kills his child.

His genes may pass, we can't forgive,

His kid does not deserve to live."

     "Boo you stinky stinker!" said the dear. It was time to take down the big meany. "Go away. You are way to mean to have us as your buddies."

     "Indeed!" the rest of them cried.

     "And I really hope that you are never a daddy," the dear said angrily.

     Then they walked away from the ugly parrot and marched right into the pool. They did cannonballs and flippy-doops. Even the cat got wet and splashed around with the rest of them.

     When they got out of the pool, all the food was ready for chowing down on. The bee was a great barbecue man. He made burgers, hot dogs, and wings and they were all super yummy. BUT, the most exciting part of course were the "steakums". He took steak and cut it up into little steak bits that everyone could pop in their mouths like chips. "Steakums" were probably one of the best parts of the party and everyone hoped that the bee would make them the next year for his birthday party.**

     When they were all done eating, they were plump and happy. They went inside and cuddled up on the couch in front of the TV. The bee put on one of his favorite movies called Jimmy and the Great Plum. They were so cumfy in the blankets and pillows that they all fell asleep before the movie ended. They finished it another time.

**Note: 

Dear Bee,

     You know what my favorite memory is? Eating steakums. Can we have some more this summer?

The Cat.

Getting Ready for a Party

     It was getting close to the bee's birthday and he wanted to have a party, so he went to work on invitations for all of his new friends. He was still working on his communication skills, so they came out a little bizarre.

     When he was done, he walked to the houses of each of his friends and delivered them. Even though the invitations were a lot more understandable than if the bee tried to tell them in words, they were still a little confusing. The sloth brothers wound up filling everyone in about the party because they knew the bee better than anyone else. Unfortunately, they worked at the chocolate shop and no one could cover their shifts, so they couldn't come.

     Saturday came and the bee buzzed all around the house to prepare for his guests. He made sure the food was cooking, his bed was made, and his pets were fed all in time for the big event. He was planning on watching a movie, with his friends, at the end of the night so he went downstairs to get his big TV. While he was in the basement, he heard a noise from the door at the other end of the room. He got scared and ran back upstairs. He never opened that door because it was always cold and dark in there. His dad used to work in there sometimes, but no one else, and he was afraid that there were monsters in there.

     It was 6:53 and the bee knew that his friends would be coming over any minute. He went down to the basement one more time to check whether the noise was still there. He heard the noise again and wondered whether it would ruin the party. It sounded like a ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. He got closer and was shaking out of fear.

     "ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch"

     He was so scared, but he grabbed the door and started to peek in.
   
     "ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch EEEE," the sloths squeaked unable to contain themselves.

    "OOO," the bee belted in surprise. He was still shaking a little.

     "Sorry to scare you," the younger brother said.

     "We just wanted to surprise you because we got off of work," said the older sloth.

     "Buh dooble dip, flibbin flop," said the bee. (He meant to say he should have noticed it was them since they always rub their hands together when they're excited.)

     The bee and the sloths went up stairs and the rest of the friends came to party.

The Dear

     Now there is one more animal you have to meet really quick before I tell you about the bee's birthday party. Don't worry, she'll be important, I promise. It's the dear. She was a deer, but she was so sweet that she needed an extra "a". She lived in a log cabin surrounded by hundreds of flowers that she watered everyday. She also had a whole garden full of fruits and vegetables.

     The dear went to the same university as the land shark. She was studying the environment and languages. She spoke English, Spanish, and Japanese, but she was determined to learn all the other languages too. All of them.

     She was almost like a cross between the perfect loving mom and Professor McGonagall. She loved and cared for everything, but she wasn't afraid to put meanies in their place. Everyone loved the dear.